April 28, 2010


...because I cannot tolerate to people over here anymore. I might not have been meant to be Turkish. Yes, it is the truth that I love the city itself. I haven't seen a city in my whole life that is this all-around, colorful, modern yet historic, up and down, dynamic, varied, etc. Turkish culture is a quite complex one. I'm not humiliating anyone, though. I've been in and out of Turkey since the age of 16. I have found myself closer to the Nordic culture where minds and souls are free. Where people live the life itself. However, in Turkey, where there is a complex and collective culture, people try to interfere in each others' lives without any logical reason. Self-actualization doesn't play an important role. You have to actualize others' expectations in order to actualize yourself in words. What kind of a hella fuck is this?

I am almost a graduate student. I am busy with settling my life. I am trying to give a wise yet enjoyable rotation to my life. I do my best to differ myself from the majority by my personality, behavior, lifestyle, etc. And I ask myself, "Can I do these things over here the way I want it to be?" Hell no! There are always loads of people trying to block you, trying to put an obstacle in front of your way. I consider myself strong as an individual. However, you are strong as a group. My self makes up a person. Your group makes up a person. Though, it doesn't make up anything. You laugh at me, trying to lower me, and enlarging your ego or jealousy. Does it work? No. You were laughing at me in the street as a group. You get home and add me as a friend on Facebook as a person. I have never understood why you have been laughing at me by now. Do your cellulites or suffocating skin due to heavy makeup make you laugh?

I'm leaving you all alone over here. Take your culture, take your group, take your fucking collectivism, take your lipstick, take your cellulite, take your boyfriends/girlfriends, take your caprices, take yourself, take everything. I'm putting a one more brick to my construction, called lifetime. Do you think you could fuck around with me that easily, you pussy?

Sorry for my harshness, but my pussycat target audiences' English level is not enough to understand the core idea of what I have written over here, anyways, so I don't feel guilty at all.

I am fine now. Zen.

(Further note)
First of all, I want to thank my friends for their attention on Facebook to my note! However, some of you took this note like I have been offended by something/someone. Nothing has happened. This was just a volcano within me which has been awaiting for a long while and it is ready to explode, that's all! :) Thank you again. I appreciate your thoughtfulness! :)

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