Oz-19

I had the last course at university today. It felt great. On the other hand, the truth is that I will miss some of my lecturers.

Last night was terrible. It was just like a nightmare. I thought I was about to lose my mind. I realized the problem of timing. I was going to be late, actually very very late. From the beginning of my Australia adventure, I have decided not to make any Plan B as a principle. I must focus on one and only Plan A. Last night, was the only night that I thought of making a Plan B, like postponing my master to february and heading to the states for a few months. BUT. There is no one happier than me on the earth right now. Thanks Mom and my friend Hande (hehe :)) for the unvaluable support. Mom called the American Hospital in order to arrange an earlier check-up date and I went to the Student Admissions to get a certified copy of my diploma sooner. Everything seems to be uber super now! And you know what? IELTS is tomorrow morning! After last night, IELTS seems less compelling to me. Hello IELTS. Help me make my dreams become true. Don't you ever be an obstacle? As you say, "Opening doors, creating opportunities" You just open the door, I will create my own opportunities. Thanks to all of my friends who have been supporting me on my way to Australia. Sleeves rolled up!

Oz-18

Good news! I can't tell how much these good news motivate me sky high! I received an email from the University of New South Wales today, telling me that admissions have entered my application. Only IELTS test result left and needed! Citing the sentence, "Dear Alparslan Carkci, thank you for applying to UNSW. I am writing to confirm receipt of your application for admission." Even though this is not a complete acceptance, it is a really big step! I can't wait to sit for IELTS test this saturday! Mom and dad are funny by the way! From their point of view, I am already accepted to UNSW. They think my departure date is exact. Nowadays, they concern about their upcoming India trip. They keep asking me if it is easy to go to India from Sydney and catch them up over there in Delhi. Love them! Oh moreover, I can reach to UNSW's student portal by the given student id number, so I can check my application tracking. It feels marvelous! It makes me feel like I am almost there! Thanks a lot for the support, guys! :) Here is UNSW COFA's location in Sydney!

Oz-17

Hooray, the temperature goes up, my motivation goes up, everything rises above. Some of the courses are over. I hand in the last class works. The week of final examinations shall not be tough for me since I have done almost all the readings before. There is only this Ad Campaign presentation. We will get over it. Saturday gets closer. On friday, I met Grace in order to practice the speaking section. And I will meet one of my lecturers at school today to continue the practice. It is VERY nice of my lecturer to share her time with me, practicing IELTS. I actually take more time nowadays, watching Gossip Girl and Eleventh Hour and of course sporting. They are super addictive, especially Gossip Girl. Before going to the school today, I will head to Taksim to pay British Council TRF fee, so they will send my IELTS result directly to UNSW. Even my parents are very excited over my shift in the world. Dad is searching for flight tickets. I said, fly me with Emirates, Dad!

Oz-16

I know I have been sounding quite stressful and and kind of pessimistic in my posts by now. It seems to me that it is not the best way to achieve an aim. For this reason, I promised myself to be much more relaxed. There are only six days till IELTS test, so why this mental hustle? I have news! I know where/when I will take IELTS now - woohoo yeehoo! I will take the oral exam at my university's pre-bachelor preparation campus and the exam at Dedeman Hotel which are only ten minutes away from me on foot. As far as I have evaluated myself, my reading and listening skills are quite fine. I try to learn more and more phrases, adverbs, and adjectives in sequence, contrasting , explaining, responding, describing, giving an in-depth opinion, delaying tactics, stating an opinion, generalizing, qualifying, cause/effect when it comes to writing and also speaking. I wish they did not give task cards to us in the speaking section. Let's just talk arbitrarily. Examine me like that. Why the hell do you hand in a card, make it seem hella academic, and stress me out? Anyways, I'll be fine, I'm optimistic!

Instead of IELTS, everything related to college seems to be going great. The dates of final examinations are announced. For 6 days from June 4th to 10th, I will be stressed a little, then I'm done. The consultant lecturer seems to like our ad-campaign. We are almost done with the strategical part. He liked our conceptual idea, too. We will carry all of these onto creative side now. Everything is good good.

Let's get the fingers crossed, buddies!

Oz-15

I feel like I really am disconnected with school and life in general over here. I find myself trying to get rid of everything I possess, like selling books, clothes, giving away unnecessary electronic stuff to junk collectors, etc. and I do all of these sort of unconsciously. Don't get me wrong, I don't do this pessimistically, it is just the excitement of a brand new upcoming life.

Today at Advertising Workshop course, the lecturer didn't appreciate the way I prepared my tv scenario. Actually, he made fun of my story, too because my scenario involves 2 male flat mates and people perceived it "a little bit" gay somehow which was not intended anyhow. I call this, distorted mentality. He said I should have prepared the tv scenario according to the standard rules, like putting the display on the left side and the voice on the right side. Mine was more like a combination of visual and worded explanation. I mean, come on! If I do it just because it is a rule, I can't express my ideas the way they are meant to be. Moreover, he added that my graduation would be in danger if I wouldn't correct it. I don't like the way Ad-field puts all of these rules as obstacles in front of us in Turkey. Everything is too theoretical. I'm not trying to get my ideas accepted by others. I just try to make a decision on this one : "Is my idea being debated?" or "Is the way I interpret my idea being debated?" My idea could be negotiable. It could be good, bad, terrible, brilliant, so so, smelly, poof, ouch, etc. However, in my opinion, the way I describe my idea is my business and there are no standard rules in that. I just hope to go the hell away to Sydney and get my Master of Design in a more peaceful, academic, and open-minded atmosphere. I don't want people to think why the hell there are 2 males in a story. This is really irritating and actually this distorted mentality is valid in every speck of daily life over here. I'm sick and tired of it. Trying to find other meanings in a story instead of debating the core idea... How can it be possible to give simple messages through advertisements when the people and culture are this complicated? What I know the best is that some people better watch what they say. (Listen to this song > Jazzmatazz - Watch what you say)

Okay, IELTS, listening section, part 8490303.

Actually, I can't do anything right now related to Australia, but study for IELTS.

According to my test result, the process will get on a faster track, I guess.

Oh wait, I better go to the gym first.

Oz-14

Not much left till the go-go. After 10 days, courses will be over and then there comes the final examinations. I'm not attending to that graduation celebration. Everybody says "Well, you celebrate it once in a lifetime" There is nothing to celebrate in my case, I'll just get my diploma on July 4th and escape the hell away, man.

I even cannot concentrate on the lectures anymore. I have to keep my mind busy, otherwise I begin daydreaming. Thank God, my internship at Lowe Worldwide will begin in 2 weeks and it'll keep me and my mind busy till my go-go. As a matter of the fact that I can't do anything right now, but study for the IELTS test which I do nowadays and nowanights. I have this optimistic feeling that my test will go fine and I will be able to catch the program at COFA which will begin on July 19th. And if I'm lucky I'll be able to go to Sydney a few days earlier than the program begins and set up the accommodation.

I attended to a cycling tour around the island on sunday and I had a chance to talk with the sports trainer over outdoor sports. He invited me over his office, so we will review the activities together. I might attend to rafting program which will be held next weekend. Exciting! 

 just want this IELTS test come and go., it makes me very nervous sometimes.

Our cycling group, posing during the break time

Oz-13

Oz-12

When I got back home from the office today, something surprised me. COFA has received my application today. I've been expecting COFA Administration to get it on thursday. At least, there is an official application now. Good good. Studying IELTS, but doing nothing nowadays. I might be over-stressing myself, but I can't help it. By the way, thank you Fedex for fast-shipping. Appreciated, man.

No IELTS, No Australia.

No IELTS, No Australia.

No IELTS, No Australia.

No IELTS, No Australia.

No IELTS, No Australia.

Oz-11

Well okay, I'm not thinking of this visa process anymore. When I think about it, I can't concentrate on anything else and it distracts my attention. It is obvious that there is timing-problem. I have limited time. However, it would be okay if I head to Australia a week later then expected instead of not getting enough marks on the test and not being able to apply for the visa at all. I bought an IELTS preparation book today. I have approximately two weeks till the examination date. I will do my best in this period of time. No IELTS leads to No Australia. Fingers crossed.

I checked my applications' places through Fedex. They will be landed off in Australia this thursday - yay!

Oz-10

Everything seems to be on the right track, but going much faster is needed. Even though I have just sent the applications to UNSW COFA and UTS, I began gathering the necessary documents for the visa application. I went to the student center at college today in order to get the original high school diploma of mine. And then, I have been to the American Hospital to get information on the health check thing. The doctor said I was to come back when I send my passport to the consulate or when I get the visa - I couldn't understand it...Time is super limited. It sucks that everything depends on the IELTS test. I can't do anything without it. I can't make the progress going ahead much faster without the test result. If the consulate sends my passport to me after 3-4 weeks after applying for the visa, that's terrible. I need it sooner. Even though I have the time pressure all over me, I feel super duper excited about Sydney! I can't wait to hug a koala! I can't wait to watch a dust storm! I can't wait to go jogging to Bondi beach! I can't wait for my new life!

Oz-9

Oh my gosh. It is the power of 05.05. A post before, I was saying that I might attend to a TAFE program since the applications closed. It hasn't been closed yet! I didn't send application to RMIT which is Melbourne. I feel like Sydney is the city for me. I'm a big city boy. I need some highrise buildings. I need crowd. I need traffic. I need fashion. Therefore, I sent my applications to COFA UNSW and UTS. If both of them accepts me, I think I'll go for COFA UNSW which ranks 6th in Australia and 47th in the world. And UTS ranks 11th in Australia. I'm so thrilled that I am concerning not to attend to my graduation ceremony at all and go the hell away to Sydney. I will see nothing but tiki (a turkish girl model who are over made-up, exaggerated, and parasitic) girls at the graduation ceremony - what's the point of seeing those more and more?

I have an other super duper new! I have applied for an internship at Lowe International and I am hella' accepted! I have told her that I was planning to do MA beginning from july and she told me their internship programs last 1 month anyways. Then I asked "Pleaseee could you please put me in front of the queue?" And the answer is yes, hella' yes! It'll be a great experience before leaving. So, june-july, I'm at Lowe International. I noticed that it has a Sydney office, too. Who knows?

All in all, all I have to do is to wait now. School stuff is getting much busier than ever. Patience patience. I so want to graduate! I want to repeat! Power of 05.05!

Oz-8

These are getting more complicated. I don't know how to solve all of these problems. Changing life and shifting in the world are really difficult, but they are not impossible. Very Adidas of me. Lately, I've decided (also with some help of my friends) Int'l Comm. with Int'l Relations program at Macquaire hasn't been made for me, so I concentrate on Master of Design. UTS and COFA. However, there is a problem. Applications have closed 2 weeks ago. What I could do is to bombarb UTS and COFA with my emails to let myself in as a late-application student or wait for the february and find an other program (like TAFE program) until the university begins. I don't want to waste my time over here all summer. I need to find a way to go go. Otherwise, I go go up the wall.

Sometimes, I feel like my brain is going to explode. Concentrating on too many things, like final advertising campaign presentation, graduation itself, Australia, master programs, late-applications, etc. makes me go frantic.

Oz-7-1

...because I cannot tolerate to people over here anymore. I might not have been meant to be Turkish. Yes, it is the truth that I love the city itself. I haven't seen a city in my whole life that is this all-around, colorful, modern yet historic, up and down, dynamic, varied, etc. Turkish culture is a quite complex one. I'm not humiliating anyone, though. I've been in and out of Turkey since the age of 16. I have found myself closer to the Nordic culture where minds and souls are free. Where people live the life itself. However, in Turkey, where there is a complex and collective culture, people try to interfere in each others' lives without any logical reason. Self-actualization doesn't play an important role. You have to actualize others' expectations in order to actualize yourself in words. What kind of a hella fuck is this?

I am almost a graduate student. I am busy with settling my life. I am trying to give a wise yet enjoyable rotation to my life. I do my best to differ myself from the majority by my personality, behavior, lifestyle, etc. And I ask myself, "Can I do these things over here the way I want it to be?" Hell no! There are always loads of people trying to block you, trying to put an obstacle in front of your way. I consider myself strong as an individual. However, you are strong as a group. My self makes up a person. Your group makes up a person. Though, it doesn't make up anything. You laugh at me, trying to lower me, and enlarging your ego or jealousy. Does it work? No. You were laughing at me in the street as a group. You get home and add me as a friend on Facebook as a person. I have never understood why you have been laughing at me by now. Do your cellulites or suffocating skin due to heavy makeup make you laugh?

I'm leaving you all alone over here. Take your culture, take your group, take your fucking collectivism, take your lipstick, take your cellulite, take your boyfriends/girlfriends, take your caprices, take yourself, take everything. I'm putting a one more brick to my construction, called lifetime. Do you think you could fuck around with me that easily, you pussy?

Sorry for my harshness, but my pussycat target audiences' English level is not enough to understand the core idea of what I have written over here, anyways, so I don't feel guilty at all.

I am fine now. Zen.

(Further note)
First of all, I want to thank my friends for their attention on Facebook to my note! However, some of you took this note like I have been offended by something/someone. Nothing has happened. This was just a volcano within me which has been awaiting for a long while and it is ready to explode, that's all! :) Thank you again. I appreciate your thoughtfulness! :)

Oz-7

I just applied to the IELTS test. The examination date is May 29th. Exciting, eh? Lately, I've been considering that Sydney would be a better choice in comparison to Melbourne. The bigger a city is, the more opportunities I have. I could travel to Melbourne when I'm in Sydney and if I like it there, I could arrange something in Melbourne after my master program in Sydney. There are only 59 days until my graduation ceremony. Oh my god, these are all so fucking mucking ducking exciting! I got two reference letters from two professors in hand. Normally, this is enough, but I want to get more. Good luck.

Oz-6

SELFACTUALIZATION


SELFACTUALIZATION


SELFACTUALIZATION